What a strange time it has been. I think now I have spent 3 full weeks at home and have been furloughed for the last 10 days. I feel strangely fine about it all. Heard a very interesting thought today, that people who have anxiety, always lived like this anyway but now everyone else is experiencing it too. But we, anxious people, know how to live with this and how to deal with it. We know our triggers and we know what helps. I am actually enjoying the fact that I don’t have to ‘pretend’ to work as we did for the first few days when everything got cancelled. That was the hardest part. That and all compulsory socialising. Not because I don’t like those people, I was desperate just to be left to my own devices. This almost feels like summer holidays. without the fun and being able to go swimming all the time.
Daily meditation is my salvation. Knowing myself and being able to look at the big picture. I actually had a lot of incredible insights during the last few weeks. Everything is so much exaggerated now, all feelings and thoughts. And it is much harder to hide behind the ‘busyness’. It all comes out. There are things that I really want to achieve in life, but I am petrified. Mainly of things changing. That’s me, a massive anxious neurotic. So it is surprising how ok I am during all of this. Is it fair to say, that I have experienced things much worst and scarier than this? Or is it the most neurotic thing I could ever say?
Anyway, it is such a weird but also interesting time. We do go on our daily walks or runs. Probably my second cure. That and food. But here are a few photos that I have taken during our walks/runs.